My Thoughts Always: Precognative

It began when I was a small child.  I had a dream and in this dream all I saw was black and a bunch of cars.  A few weeks later my great grandfather passed away.  I sat in my second grade class, chills ran down my spine, I recognized each one of the kids in my class.  I don't know how or why but I;m sure, I've never seen them before. 

We had just moved and my bed wasn't set up yet.  I slept on the couch.  I saw a figure of a man, his spirit or aura was red and angry.  He was terrifying to look at.  I did what any child who believes in God does, I prayed and the red angry spirit was replaced with the spirit of a man clothed in white.  He had a smile and not at all scary.  He seemed to almost pet my head and then I was able to sleep.

I was 16, I tried out for a play in high school.  It happened again,  I saw a purple haze glide across the auditorium.  Even though I saw it and no one else did there was evidence it happened.  For no reason the American flag began to wave in the air but there was no wind.  She waved the flag as a "Look at me."  I knew she was there and she knew that I knew.

A few weeks later I had a dream that my locker shelf was stolen.  In the dream I knew who stole it.  Six weeks later my shelf was stolen and I knew who stole it.  I had already seen it in a dream. 

After this point things began to get scary and I forced myself to not see but I can't stop myself from feeling.  I know when someone is in a room even when you don't.  I know when that spirit means well and when it doesn't.  I wish I could say it's my imagination, but I can't.

A few years later, I had a dream that my grandmother lay in bed dead.  I opened my bedroom door to hear her breath.  I didn't sleep that night and I can't ever push it out of my memory.  I must have know deep down how truly sick she was.   A year later, she passed away.  There was a lot of self blame.  I thought I could maybe have stopped it if I just accepted my gift.  It was at this point I finally accepted the truth.  I have dreams in which some portion of it happens.  I know when something isn't right.

I had a dream in which my husband was in an automobile accident.  In this dream he died.  It terrified me because some portion of that dream would happen and I knew it.  I didn't know what part of it and having no control left me vulnerable.  There was a blood clot and I couldn't convince the doctors to treat it.  A few months later he did get in an automobile accident.  He didn't go to the hospital but someone else did.

A year or two down the road, I had a dream he cheated on me.  It was someone on Facebook.  I couldn't exactly pin point the girl but I knew she was blond.  It was at that point I began to eavesdrop on my husband's phone conversations.   I had taken enough theatre classes to read body language and to figure out the tones in a person's voice.  I knew when it was time to drop the bomb and say that's it you can't talk to this person.

It happened again.  This time with someone I have almost no contact with, my aunt.  I had a dream that my cousin called me to tell me that my aunt passed away.  There was a heart condition.  Some of the things going on, I don't understand.  I do think my aunt's life is in jeopardy.  I only remember these things when there's something significant to remember.  Something that I need to pay attention to but what?  I think I need to keep a dream journal.  I need to get back in touch with this aspect of my life and just start accepting it.  I need to stop pushing it out.