This is going to be my first time writing about this and it isn't child friendly.
Eight almost nine years ago I was twenty- seven a week from turning twenty- eight. I did something I had never done before. I had a lot of pain and regret based on that day. Before I tell you about this day, I need to explain a few things about me.
I don't believe in premarital sex. I still really just don't believe in it. I think there are good decisions and poor decisions and I do think given the right circumstances you can be led to a poor decision. The right circumstances happened.
I was 27 almost 28. I was a good girl. I woke up, went to work in my onion scented restaurant uniform every day. No matter how often I washed I seemed to never get rid of the stench. I called my mom every weekend and spoke for hours. During these phone calls my mom would pressure me about having grand babies. I wanted kids but in my time, not hers.
A week before my birthday, I had a training to go to. My car had been repossessed by this time and I took the bus. The class had been canceled and that left me waiting for a bus home. That's where I met him. In front of a restaurant that was next to the place where my class was.
He wore a NY Yankees hat, (TRADER! You're a Clevelander!) Pants that really didn't fit him, and the pretties green eyes and long eyelashes that anyone has ever seen on a man. He was incredibly charming.
Before this men would give me cheesy lines. "How are you?" I would reply "Fine" eyes roaming my body up and down "You sure are!" That's just creepy and doesn't work by the way. He looked at me. He paid attention to what I was doing and he would not let up until I talked with him.
He convinced me to go to his apartment and I did the one thing I swore I would only give to my husband. I gave him my virginity. It wasn't rape. I didn't say no. He slept with his arm around me. He didn't know that I cried as we lay there. He got up and left. He never pointed a shower out to me.
I sat on the bus disgusted with myself. I got off the bus in downtown Cleveland, I walked 3-4 miles home crying the whole way. On that day, I really hated myself. I didn't know if I would ever see him again. I was so depressed I called off work the next day. I told him I was a virgin. He didn't believe me. He didn't trust women and I was clearly, a woman.
I went to work and my manager told me I had a phone call. He called me! I thought that was it. I'm sure that statistically we weren't supposed to last. I had his children, we married, we have a house, I gave my husband my gift and he learned trust.
I have it on good authority that I'm clingy. He seems to like that from me. Shouldn't a wife be a little clingy though.
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